The Moments In Between Happiness

Should we be happy all of the time? 

Of course it feels good to be happy, but is that state achievable all of the time? With our modern lives of sometimes working two jobs to pay the bills, over consuming, waste, attachment to social media and our electronics, trying to get a work-out in, figuring out what to eat tonight so that we can go to sleep and do it all again tomorrow… Or even in our contemplative states, recognizing that our problems are so small compared to the hungry, poor, abandoned, and traumatized. How does one fit in happiness and strive for happiness?

And if we are not happy in this moment, can we allow the space for the mundane, the dull, or the monotonous? Can we embrace our boredom or discontentment? Is there room for it all?

First off I think it is important to note that happiness is subjective. Also there is a contradictory nature to happiness. For example a satisfying life filled with a successful career and relationships, maybe even kids, takes time and patience. But inevitably this may be a goal that makes you happy. However to attain those things you have to give up other things; lazy days in a row of hanging out with friends, partying, traveling on a whim, etc. Though, that type of life style could be indulgingly satisfying and lead to happiness. But wouldn’t you potentially have to give up the career and all the happiness that comes with the stability of that life style for the other? As happiness in one area of life increases, happiness in another area inevitably decreases.

I think it’s also important to note, our propensity to live in the past or the future. Reminiscing on a time “That was great,” or looking towards the future believing that once we get this or attain that “it will be great.” What about now?

The more I contemplate this, the more aware I become of a human pattern to work hard to reach a goal, anticipating the happiness it will bring when achieved. Unfortunately that goal gets met, we get a quick fix of happiness, and then it dissipates and we are back to baseline and before you know it we are striving for the next achievable goal that will bring us that fix of happiness. It just doesn’t last.

Maybe this is how it should be. Dissatisfaction with the present and dreams of the future are what motivate us. While memories of the happiness of the past are reassurances that the feeling of happiness can be had. We may not get anything done if we were in a constant state of bliss.

I think what I want to invite into our lives is that it is okay to be unhappy. I am not suggesting an alternative of wallowing in the melancholic muck; but to embrace the times that are not euphoric or filled with achievement. What about now? is this moment not just as significant as the moments for which you are elated? See if you can notice when you are striving for things to be different? is this beneficial, is it motivating, or is that energy inevitably discrediting the "now?" Bring curiosity to the moments in between happiness.